Saturday, November 21, 2015
Light
Master Ximena is standing very still without speaking. She is holding up a lantern. We are in a dark cave. There is another person holding another lantern, dimmer, for it is farther down the tunnel. I am looking for the way out. I cannot recognize the light. I look down another passageway, dark as can be, for light. I get frustrated and confused. I look up. I look under rocks. I speak to the spiders. They chatter with friendliness but are blind. Finally I look for Master Ximena. She is there where she has been all this time. Her messages are not confused; they are clear. And I begin my journey out.
Monday, November 9, 2015
Driving
I drive people around part time for pay. The riders get to rate me from one star to five stars. I generally get five stars. But sometimes I don't. One time I got an "attitude" complaint. I was astounded. What attitude were they referring to? I am always polite, I thank them, open doors for them, provide candy, drive safely, etc. If anything, they should be showering me with tips - which, mostly, does not happen. (Tipping is not required or even encouraged.) Who were these people??? Clearly there was something I was overlooking. I started paying more attention to everything I was feeling, saying, and doing.
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Often there is confusion about where to pick up riders... for reasons I will not go into. Sometimes they wonder why I can't find them. No matter how I sugar coat it, my conversation with them over the phone can convey frustration. I sometimes go into judgement that they have no logical sense, and must be dim-witted.
It turns out (I can tell from the tone in their voice), that they are thinking the same thing about me. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Who is right and who is wrong?
It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that I am making judgements. Period. And they feel that. And, whether this is the source of my "attitude" complaints or not, it is something that I own up to as needing transformation.
Even if someone was dimwitted, so what? That does not mean I do not put forth the greatest effort to be of service to them. Even if someone is insulting, it is not a reason for me to garner an "attitude". Even if someone is disrespectful, it is an opportunity for me remain established in the awareness of my own Truths. And that may be accompanied by me declining to serve them.
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Usually we are able to navigate me to where they are. When we see each other in person, when they get into my car, I drop all attitudes and express that I am glad to have found them, ask how they are, and connect with them however I can. Now I see them as real people. People who are just like me, and who almost always turn out to be enjoyable to be with.
They respond in like, usually, and the judgements drop away as we both realize that we are just doing the best that we can, and both want a seamless connection.
Mostly, we all want to feel loved and to be loving. If the feeling of love is not there, that is my work. It is not their fault. I can choose to drop the frustration, the judgements. I can choose to be responsible for my own attitudes, remembering that we both have the same goal, and will allow these situations to work out with mutual respect.
--------------------
Often there is confusion about where to pick up riders... for reasons I will not go into. Sometimes they wonder why I can't find them. No matter how I sugar coat it, my conversation with them over the phone can convey frustration. I sometimes go into judgement that they have no logical sense, and must be dim-witted.
It turns out (I can tell from the tone in their voice), that they are thinking the same thing about me. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Who is right and who is wrong?
It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that I am making judgements. Period. And they feel that. And, whether this is the source of my "attitude" complaints or not, it is something that I own up to as needing transformation.
Even if someone was dimwitted, so what? That does not mean I do not put forth the greatest effort to be of service to them. Even if someone is insulting, it is not a reason for me to garner an "attitude". Even if someone is disrespectful, it is an opportunity for me remain established in the awareness of my own Truths. And that may be accompanied by me declining to serve them.
------------------
Usually we are able to navigate me to where they are. When we see each other in person, when they get into my car, I drop all attitudes and express that I am glad to have found them, ask how they are, and connect with them however I can. Now I see them as real people. People who are just like me, and who almost always turn out to be enjoyable to be with.
They respond in like, usually, and the judgements drop away as we both realize that we are just doing the best that we can, and both want a seamless connection.
Mostly, we all want to feel loved and to be loving. If the feeling of love is not there, that is my work. It is not their fault. I can choose to drop the frustration, the judgements. I can choose to be responsible for my own attitudes, remembering that we both have the same goal, and will allow these situations to work out with mutual respect.
Lap Cat
This morning, my cat laid on my lap for about ten minutes straight, soaking up the love, while I led a spiritual practice and chanted on a conference call.
What is so unusual about that, you ask.
My cat has never allowed himself to be held for more than about... seven seconds.
This morning during the practices, I was able to touch into my heart in a new and deeper way. I felt love in my message center (heart chakra), in response to healing a relationship that I am working on. I allowed the love to be the healing force. I allowed myself to feel and to follow that force. I allowed myself to explore its nature. I allowed it to exist for as long as I was able to hold it. It was all up to me. My cat and I were in the epicenter of that force. And he and I were digging it.
What is so unusual about that, you ask.
My cat has never allowed himself to be held for more than about... seven seconds.
This morning during the practices, I was able to touch into my heart in a new and deeper way. I felt love in my message center (heart chakra), in response to healing a relationship that I am working on. I allowed the love to be the healing force. I allowed myself to feel and to follow that force. I allowed myself to explore its nature. I allowed it to exist for as long as I was able to hold it. It was all up to me. My cat and I were in the epicenter of that force. And he and I were digging it.
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